I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
