I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
