The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
