Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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