Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize