she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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