He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
