I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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