He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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