Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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