Pants 0. Shit 1.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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