I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
