i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
