Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
