can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
