SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
