i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
