You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
