chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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