oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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