i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
