My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
