This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
