I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize