i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just high enough for therapy.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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