Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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