Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
