Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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