theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
