At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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