fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Randomize
