hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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