Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
