Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
