I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
