i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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