i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
