I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
