i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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