tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
