big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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