If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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