Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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