I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize