Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
