Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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