Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
