He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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