if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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