Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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