The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
