honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
