She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
