I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
