Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
