I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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