Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
