Banned from zoo.
Again?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
