"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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