I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
