I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
