My first STD was from a foam party
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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