Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
